My husband, Sam and I have been married for 7 years. We first met in high school, and Sam says when he first saw me, he said "That's the girl I'm going to marry." We graduated from high school together in 2000, and then from college together in 2005. We both started our "grown up jobs" shortly after graduating from college, and then got married on November 26, 2005!
I worked as an early childhood Special Education teacher for 7 years and recently started teaching kindergarten, which I absolutely love! Sam spends his days working as a software engineer. We have two precious boys, Jaden, 6, and Elijah, 4. They bring new meaning to our lives each day, and have taught us more than any amount of education ever could! On October 17, 2012, we welcomed our third baby boy, Caleb into the world. And just two short days later, our worlds came crashing down when we suddenly found ourselves saying goodbye to our newborn baby boy. There is nothing in the world that can prepare you for such a devastating experience. A piece of my heart left me when we kissed our baby boy goodbye. I have never felt such pain and am still trying to make sense of such a cruel reality. Though much of it doesn't make sense, one thing that I know for sure is that while Caleb's life on Earth was far too brief, it was not without meaning. Because of him, we have learned the true meaning of love and the value of each precious moment we share together.
Through my grief, I found that the world quickly moved on around me, leaving me at a standstill and desperately hoping that my Caleb wouldn't soon be forgotten. I have found tremendous comfort and support through online groups of other women who have also lost a child, and through reading other "Angel mommy" blogs, which have brought tears to my eyes, and comfort to my soul. I want to pay it forward by sharing our journey, which I hope will bring comfort, inspiration, and a touch of hope to others. I look forward to sharing my thoughts and feelings as a bereaved mother, along with our journey as a family who is missing our sweet baby boy, and precious baby brother. I also look forward to sharing some of my favorite inspirations, crafts & projects, daily adventures, and priceless moments in my life with my two precious boys, who make each day worth living!
The name "Sweet Fluttering Kisses" in honor of my three sweethearts -- one who lets us know he's near each time we see a beautiful butterfly... and his two big brothers who anxiously await the fluttering kisses sent from Heaven.
A LITTLE ABOUT MY PRECIOUS BOYS...
My life would not be complete without my two precious boys, Jaden and Elijah. They are the light of my life, and without them, the events of the last year would have been unbearable. I thank God every day for blessing me with these two little guys, who bring smiles and laughter even through the toughest times. I remember the morning when we came home from the hospital without our sweet Caleb with us. We all cried and held onto each other a little tighter. And as much as I wanted to just curl up in bed and block out the rest of the world, I quickly realized that these two precious boys would be my reason for being strong and continuing to live each day. I vowed to be the best mom and person that I could possibly be for them, and in honor of their baby brother.
Jaden is 6 years old. He and I started kindergarten together last year! After teaching special education for 7 years, I started teaching kindergarten for the first time, and he was in the kindergarten classroom right across the hall! Jaden is incredibly kind, thoughtful, sensitive and intelligent. He has a love for learning and is full of wonder and curiosity, always asking questions that send me to Google in search of a better answer than what I could come up with on my own! For him, the short, simple answer is never enough. He wants to know the why's, the how's and the how come's. To say the least, we've learned a lot together! Jaden loves sports and is always involved in some kind of activity. When one sport's season ends, he's ready for the next one to begin. Jaden is a family lover and really values the true meaning and importance of being together. He's very sentimental, and seems to find meaning and beauty in the little things and in the most unexpected places (one day he brought home a tiny piece of broccoli from his lunch at school because it reminded him of baby Caleb). Jaden has the most kind and caring soul, and has taught me so much about myself as a mom and the person I want to be.
Elijah is 4 years old and is in preschool. He is super silly, friendly, sweet, playful, and adventurous. Elijah pretty much talks from moment he rolls out of bed, to the second he falls asleep at night. He is very creative, always coming up with new ideas for toys, games, and life in general. He is incredibly witty and says some of the most thoughtful and hilarious things I have ever heard. Elijah's a definite daredevil and is guaranteed to have a bump or bruise somewhere on his body at all times. He plays soccer and loves it, and recently learned to ride a two-wheel bike and can't get enough of it! Elijah is my little kitchen helper and loves to be in on the action. When I'm cooking, he's guaranteed to be dragging a chair up to the counter to help; and when I'm cleaning, he's there drenching the counter with a bottle of cleaner. Elijah absolutely loves books, and especially loves that his big brother can now read stories to him! Elijah has a true love for life and for others, and helps remind us to be playful and creative, and enjoy life's little moments.
On one hand, these two are complete opposites, and on the other, they are two of a kind...two very best friends who trust, depend on, and love each other unconditionally. Without their baby brother here, they definitely feel an emptiness; and because their baby brother died, they have a connection that many others will never know. They think of him and say his name every single day, and are always quick to remind me that he is never far from our hearts. And while Caleb isn't here to complete their trio of brotherly craziness, his memory continues to be a reminder to all of us to love one another wholeheartedly and unconditionally, and to cherish and live every single moment because we know how precious life is.
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